Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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