I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pants are for mortals
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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