I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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