Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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