Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
