Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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