he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sorry my hands just texted you
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
