Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
