a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize