So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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