And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
