I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
