I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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