So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
