So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
