He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
