Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
