I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wish you could order shots online.
i came on her dog
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Randomize
