Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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