i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
