I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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