U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
