I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
