Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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