The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
