My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
