get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
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