In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
