so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
