i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Shame is for Republicans.
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