So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
