Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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