why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
