Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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