return my video game
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
