god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
