hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
