He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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