my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
