Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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