the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
