THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wish my penis had a tongue
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize