How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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