I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
