he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pants are for mortals
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
