xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
