his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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