I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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