Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
