you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
