Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
