very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
