cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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