We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
