Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
