totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
