About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
