nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
