some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
