Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
