Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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