Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
