It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
