Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
