I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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