How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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