Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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