so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
